So, its been almost a year since I last wrote a blog post and that is a long time to bottle up all those thoughts, debates and annoying little niggles in my head.
Since then a lot has happened, I’ve lost friends, made new friends and even got a new job (technically) but the biggest thing that has changed for me is the way I perceive myself.
Lost Weight, Gained Weight, Blah
I started off this year by going on some fitness regime that was not only difficult but also miserable. Eating salad everyday, drinking loads of water and trying to find time to go to the gym every night was really taking its toll on me. I understand some people love doing it, I did for a bit but I have never been massively into fitness and probably never will be the next superstar model.
I feel like I almost chose the wrong time to do all this because I was also transitioning into a new job working with higher end clients and with that, comes a lot more pressure i.e. stress eating and a lot of it.
So in the end, I actually lost two stone (well, just short of two stone by 1 pound) and I felt great. I was buying clothes a size smaller, I got rid of loads of larger clothes and felt more comfortable in my own skin for once.
From then I went on holiday, got stressed, moved into a new office and basically ate biscuits everyday for a month. So, of course I gained weight again, not as much as before and it still an achievable amount to lose but I am still, not too unhappy with myself. A big achievement for someone who has hated themselves for some time now.
Made Friends, Lost Friends, Meh
In the past year I also made a lot of changes to my friendship group, some not through any choice of my own.
Moving offices, getting a somewhat promotion and treading on a few toes really pushed me out and left me on the outside of a circle I was once on the inside of. Due to this, I also got to see the real characters of some people and boy did their true colours shine. At the same time it pushed me into another circle that is probably better than the one before and with friends I will have for life. Every cloud has a silver lining I guess.
I am not going to dwell over it or even give them their own blog post but I hope that something can be salvaged at some point, not what we had before, but something different because although i believe in forgive and forget, its sometimes not that easy to forget everything.
Learnt A lot, Forgot A Little (of course)
I am the kind of person who never forgets anything, ever. I remember the little things that most people don’t even recognise and I also learn a lot in short periods of time. Whether in my job, in my personal life or just out and about in public, I am always watching and learning and also trying to make sure I never forget important events, dates and facts (sorry if i have).
This year also made me learn a lot more about myself and particularly how I am with other people around me. For a while now I have been short, snappy, miserable and not a very nice person but I recently changed by contraceptive pill and I am hoping for the best that Bitch Becci is gone and the new and improved nice Becci will be just on the horizon. We can all dream hey…
So I Guess I’m Back To Blogging
I first got out of blogging on here because I was so busy at work and was doing quite a bit at home. Once I was out of the habit, I was then spending time in the gym and the last thing I wanted to do when I eventually got home was to pick up my mac and start typing again.
Without the time to vent and write down my daily habits and debates I was keeping a lot of the stress inside and it pushed me over the edge when I was told I have high blood pressure and basically need to chill the f*ck out!
So, as you can tell, I am back to blogging in my spare time and hopefully you will read more about happier times than being pissed off, feeling fat and fed up with the world.
Onwards and upwards for me hopefully…. we will see!